Wow. It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything. A lot has been happening, but luckily, it’s all been good. I’ve reached a couple of milestones since my last post, with the first being the halfway point. I actually started writing a post for that day, but never finished posting it. Here it is:
The Halfway Point
written 12/5/24
Monday, December 2 was my 14th radiation treatment, which means that I am more than am more than halfway done with this phase of my prostate cancer treatment. As I boarded the train that morning, the air was thick and cold with a damp fog. But, by the time I walked out of the hospital after radiation, the sun was beginning to show itself and the fog was lifting. It was threatening to be a beautiful day, which is rare this time of year in the PNW, so I decided to head downtown for some Christmas shopping and to just enjoy a sunny December day in Seattle. Strolling through Pike Place Market, hot coffee in hand and all my senses drinking in the sights, smells, and sounds around me, I began to think about what reaching the halfway point meant for me and my experience as a cancer patient so far.
To be sure, the months, weeks, and days leading up to starting radiation were dominated by uncertainty and intermittently punctuated by feelings of fear. What side effects would I have? How would I feel? Would I be incontinent? Would I be so exhausted that I could barely get off the couch? Would it hurt?
I am thrilled to report that, to date, the side effects I am experiencing have been minimal. There has been no incontinence, my energy levels are better than usual (which, I suppose, is the benefit of sleeping at night instead of working), and it doesn’t hurt. Honestly, I feel great.
What’s more, despite having double radiation sessions on Monday and Tuesday before Thanksgiving to make up for missing doses due to the holiday, the last two weeks have been overwhelmingly good. I left the noisy bustle of the market and walked north along the water’s edge, over trails I knew in what seemed like another life. As I walked, the sun began to burn through the fog, warming my skin, the back of my neck, and with the air around me, and in the peace of that solitude, I reflected on the last couple weeks.
A Wicked Weekend
The highlight of my time in Seattle so far was spending the weekend before Thanksgiving with my kids. Mack and Emyr flew to Seattle to visit and see the stage production (not the movie) of Wicked at The Paramount Theater. I had been looking forward to this particular weekend for months and after picking them up at the airport, we stopped by the hospital so Mack and Emyr could see where I get my treatment and meet my treatment team. A huge shout out to Ellen in the radiation department for showing us all around. It was getting later and we were all hungry, so we met my birth mom, Donna, and her partner, Mike for a delicious dinner of Thai food. Curry=comfort food. The following morning, we all sat around the coffee table in the basement and painted our nails blue.
Why blue? There’s more to it than just because it matches my eyes. At the tail end of March of this year, I took Emyr to Calgary to see Noah Kahan in concert for their birthday. After a visit to IKEA, the next order of business was a trip to the mall for snacks and some shopping. Emyr suggested manicures and, being a guy who’ll try anything at least twice, I wasn’t about to refuse. Emyr chose green and I picked a deep blue. Less than two weeks later, I received my diagnosis. I thought it fitting that for radiation, I’d go back to the “Fuck Cancer” blue. And the kids were on board.
After our nails dried, we had a full day of eating our way around downtown Seattle, exploring Pike Place Market, and visiting the newly-expanded Seattle Aquarium before making our way to our dinner reservation. The short walk from the light rail station to the restaurant was, to put it mildly, educational for Mack and Emyr I think. Curry was on the menu again as we ate more than our fill at Annapurna, a fantastic Indian place in the heart of the Capitol Hill neighborhood. With dinner done, it was time for the show. When we arrived at the theater, an hour before the curtain went up, the queue was already around the corner and halfway up the block, crowded with throngs of green-clad theater-goers. The show was brilliant, anchored by the actor playing Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West. The best theater experiences draw you into the world created onstage, illicit a range of emotions, and leave you thinking about how you relate to the characters on stage. Wicked was wicked good and did not disappoint.
Thankful
The following Thursday was Thanksgiving so, not having treatment, I went home to Missoula for a few days. It was a fantastic and relaxing trip, despite all the hubbub surrounding the holiday. Thanksgiving started with a brisk (read: cold) jaunt with 3000 of my fellow Missoulians for the annual Turkey Trot 8K. I felt like I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder about the run. I felt like I needed and wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. I hadn’t been running much over the past several months due to a torn meniscus, but with that recently repaired, I was all for it. It felt so damn good to be able to get out and do the run in the middle of radiation treatment. I didn’t set any land speed records, but I got to see family and friends and, most importantly, we had a great time. Following recovery from the run and some prep for Friendsgiving on Friday, we went to Donna’s for dinner and stuffed our faces on some of the most delicious turkey I’ve ever eaten and indulged in cherry pie that had me wanting seconds. The best part, though, was gathering around the table with people I love.
The rest of the weekend, much like my time in Seattle, was a whirlwind. Friendsgiving was a smashing success with smoked brisket, fried turkey, fresh oysters on the half shell, and a home buzzing with friendship and love. Saturday was spent relaxing and lounging and not looking forward to the drive back to Seattle the following afternoon.
Since it’s taken me so long to actually gotten this posted, I have reached another milestone: less than ten treatments left! As of this afternoon, I will only have 7 treatments left!!! I’m on the downhill slide, feeling great, and ready to be done with radiation and home to Missoula. I love you all and can’t wait to see you.
Flight of the Raven 